Sunday, August 28, 2005


It's about time that Sean Wright (legend) got some proper recognition. You know, for years he's been lauded by piece of shit websites like this one, for instance. And frankly, this blog has taken second place in the affections of myself and Jade, since we started bummying like it was 1999. Seriously - I haven't been able to sit down for a month, largely because I have had an oversized nympho's arm up to the elbow in my rectum. Fuck it felt good, but fucketty fuck did it hurt when those beautiful gold sovereign rings were pulled out, my own ring flapping in pieces once withdrawal was complete. Shit yeah, it gives me a lob-on just to think about it. So, once the bleeding had stopped, I had to get my revenge, right? Right. So I called up a few of my mates to come round and teach that bitch Jude a lesson she wouldn't forget. Heheheh. Let's just say we had a 'roast' dinner for tea that night. And afterwards we ended up with a box of assorted creams. Ha!

Where was I?

Oh yeah, so baldy sex-god Wrighto deserves some proper rumpy...hell, no, sorry. Some proper respec'. That's it! So imagine my delight when I was browsing some of my favourite pages (this one, this one and, oh my God, of course! this one) on Wikipedia (my fourth favourite site, after Wrighto's, CrowSwing Books, this blog and Wikipaedia) when I came across (quite literally, my 'm' key is still stuck) the Wrighto entry! I have to say, wrighting those words had created a dread thought in my mind: actual intercourse with the specficmastur! Christ, his wife is one lucky bitch. I'm sure he could do both of us in one session, though, with that tiny but rock-hard cock of his.

But what's this? There's an edit-war breaking out! And sadly, no, this is not about editing Seany's awesome prose! No-way. The books wouldn't be the same without the spelling mistakes and the novel (non-)use of grammar. This is the war over the Wikipedia entry itself! It seems like Wrighto, with his excellent grasp on reality, has once again decided it is his arch-nemesis Dave Briggs who must be behind the lastest attempt to publish a fair assessment of the great man's talent! So poor old Sean can only do one thing, can't he? And that's to fill up the entry with the sort of self-serving shit that he has tried to fill Amazon, Ebay and Palimpsest with! Great work! What a shame that Dave Briggs and his cronies are always on hand to return the article to what they (and the rest of the world) consider to be the truth! Fuckers! What's more, some of the Wikipedia gliterati are watching the article now, and soon they'll be onto Wrighto's game! Disaster! Soon the whole world will know that SEAN WRIGHT IS A FUCKING CUNT!

And we don't want that, do we, ladies?

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Turning disaster into success?

I am saddened by the events in London today. Those poor commuters never deserved this. Still, it provides two lessons: 1) never use public transport and 2) this is what happens when you let arabs and the like wander around your country free. Lock 'em all up and kick 'em all out, I say!

Anyway, I am posting this message in the hope that sexy Seany is listening in. After the amazing success of his ultra-charitable Tsunami appeal ebay auction, I am waiting to see if he does something similar to help those poor people involved in this latest tradgedy! I am sure that if he auctioned off some of his vast collection of special edition signed Jesse books, he could pay for at least to repair a window in a bus or something!

How about it, Mr Wright?

Monday, July 04, 2005

Wicked or What! Again!!!

Sorry Iggy, but I'm getting Sean withdrawal symptoms - I don't care how succulent Garry's beef is, but there's only one prick for me!!

Those idiots at Palimpsest have put up a thread telling us all about Sean's forthcoming masturpiece, Wicked or What? Brill!!! I particularly like the cover pic, it's almost as good as the now legendary big-lipped black Mama from the original Jaarfindor pic!

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

To Baldly Go...

Fuck me!

Check out the following visuals - can you spot the difference between Grand High Wizard of The New Wave of Teenage/Adult Crossover Collectible Speculative Fiction Sean Wright and the latest challenger to his throne, Garrrrrrrry Charles?

WOW! I wouldn't mind being lucky pierre in a hot love sandwich between these two hunks!

Charles the Worst

Guten Morgen blogbotherers, I am back from the brink! The brink of hell, the brink of heaven. I have tasted ecstasy, agony, and spunk in vast measures. My time in jail has been an education in the whys and wherefores of crime and anal rape. For I was once merely a giver in life. I wanted to give my love, to make romance inside the bottoms of my chosen ones. But now I am attuned to the gift of receiving! True, the first couple of times took me by surprise and hurt like hell, but now I have adjusted myself I can take anything! So Jude! Jude! Come hither and insert something of yourself into me! Your fingers, your fist, your foot, some form of 'strap-on', a broken bottle! Bung it up there! MY NAME IS IGGYWIG AND I LOVE IT!!!!

Now, other than receiving the pleasure of cock in arse, I got up to loads of other antics in gaol, most notably reading books. I came across several new authors (not to mention a few inmates! Ha ha!) including the one author I consider could rival Seany for brilliance. The name of this artist? GARRY CHARLES.

Now, I am not sure if Garry is any relation of Craig Charles, star of 'Red Dwarf' and most categorically NOT a rapist, but I would hope they share some of the same proclivities. For Garry is, I feel, a chap with a vast imagination and a spam-javelin to match. Let's check out his shit [hot] website, which is available to everyone with access to the Information Super Highway at (I love these websites. I mean, you decide you are going to write a novel. So what's the first thing you do? Plan it? Nah. Come up with some at least semi-plausible characters? Nah. Set up a website? Get in! I think, however, that all new authors should put up images of the insides of their anuses on their sites. You can get these for free by going into a hospital and claiming you have african bum disease. It's what I do. The last time though, the photos didn't come out - apparently the lens was covered in blood).

What does Garry's website tell us? "Welcome all to my twisted imaginings. The release of my first novel is almost upon us and the madness looms." Wow! What an intro! The madness truly does loom, especially when you get round to reading some of his fic! Here's the summary of his novel Heaven's Falling - it makes some of Seany's stuff look good! Is that what I meant?


When Virgil Kain was shot point blank in the face he did not expect to wake up a mere two hours later in a strange hospital room. He was even more surprised when he was notified that he was in fact as dead as a door nail.

Within a short period he has accepted the job to locate his own killer and bring a halt to their scheme. This plan and other revelations about himself and the very substance of human beliefs are uncovered as he travels through the realms of Limbo, Heaven and Hell.

Can Kain come to terms with his true purpose and can he prevent Heaven from Falling. Find out in the up and coming debut novel from Garry Charles.


KAIN: Your average, everyday private investigator, thrown in at the deep end when he finds himself shot in the face by an unknown assassin. He will rise from recently dead to the heights of saviour, but can he shoulder the responsibility.

LUCY: The female personification of Satan. Trying hard to follow a new path and find love amognst the mayhem.

DAMIEN: A demon built like a giant and endowed with a sexual member like a python. He has only ever thought of number one but this will all change when he meets a man called Kain.

BOB: Head of admin in Limbo, but will he become a reluctant hero and finally show the courage within.

MRS BEATON: A crooked spine and the hots for Damien, likes nothing more than baking for guests.

Just a selection of characters that bring "Heaven's Falling" into vivid life. But be warned, these are by no means the most bizarre people lurking within my pages. Some will disgust and some will shock but they will all entertain you.

Yes indeedy sir! I haven't been entertained so much since I last sunk my teeth into a vertical bacon sandwich that hadn't been washed for a month. My god, never have the words stench trench been more appropriate. That's way these days I am a back door only boy.

Still, let's try and forget about that and move onto the power, poise and prick pumping pathos of Charles' prose. Here's some what I robbed off of his website - fair use m'lud! Fair use!

Even with Damien’s assistance the climb was becoming difficult, any foot holds were insubstantial, crumbling as soon as I touched them and showering down on to Imogen below with splinters of heavy rock.

"Do you fucking mind, some of us are try to get some sleep down here", the comedian in her again trying to hide the fear, but the fucking and blinding was something I’d have to talk to her about later, right now I had to concentrate.

The others watched from the far side in total silence as Damien fed out more rope and I made my way even further down in to the throat of the shark.

"I’m right above you, we’ll be back at the top before you know it", I tried my best to sound confident and pulled it off with out a stammer or a tremor, not bad considering the fact that I was shitting my pants.

"Make it quick will you, we’re getting sick of this fucking scenery", she made a good attempt but the high tone gave away the panic that she was trying to deny.

As we spoke I came level with her and found the first decent, solid foothold of the entire rescue mission.

"You’ll have to hang around my neck and then I’ll climb back up", ensuring that my feet were still secure I turned so that she could wrap her arms around me.

She swung around herself around, using her legs to push her towards me and grabbed on tight to my shoulders, pulling herself in close and wrapping her legs around my waist.

"Oh fuck it", she wriggled about on my back, I could not see why but she was having a serious problem.

"We can’t get the pack free, it’s wedged".

"Slip it off your arms one at a time and we’ll leave it", I tried to give the best advice I could with the information I had.

"We can’t, it’s pulled tight, there’s no room to allow any movement", she was starting to sound as if she was losing it.

Fuck me! I'd say I am losing it by reading this shite. Damn this keyboard! I meant to type shit hot fiction. Sorry Gaz!

Still, it's good to know that Garry Charles is not mental. Check out some of the q&a's on the man's site. Don't forget, there's no chance WHATSOEVERER that these question were asked of Charles by himself. That would be crazy talk. Indeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed.

When will we find Heaven’s Falling on the shelves?

As soon as I can find an agent and/or publisher with the nerve to take the risk on what is a controversial story. I will let you know as soon as I do.

Having had the privilege to read Heaven’s Falling in draft form I must ask, have you read the Bible and do you believe in God? [Isn't this stretching the meaning of 'Frequently Asked Question' beyond twanging point? Even Jude's g-string isn't this tight! Have you managed to find it yet, Jude? It ust be starting to chafe rather.]

Yes I have and No I do not.

When will it be on the shelves?

I am selling my house to enable me to self publish. I hope to have it ready for September 2005. But check in again for updates.

What! Not even the Wrightmeister is this committed to his work! He would never sell his house, largely because he needs somewhere to go to practise catching and throwing for work. But still! Garry Charles is racing up the speculative fundament, and I for one am desperate to catch him!!!!

Friday, June 24, 2005

Harrowing News for Seany!!

I don't know what's got into the critical press these days! Remember back in the good old days when you could rely on reliable positive word of mouth reviews of modern day classics from the likes of Frank Johns from Limerick, Ireland (and Smallsville, USA!), William York from York, and the now legendary Gretashay, master of the swift pint? Now everybody thinks they're a critic, and they're not even giving the right opinions about Sean's books! After that ridiculous hatchet job on Curse of Caldazar below, now here comes a silly so-called review from The Harrow (link above) for Seany's latest masturpiece, Dark Tales of Time and Space! I reckon they're all just jealous of his tremendous success, that's what it is!

Rapper Joey Steffano, best known for his alter-ego "Crack Boy," is killed in concert and finds himself on a mysterious train ride through a dark and dangerous place, struggling to figure out what happened and what the train's apparent owner, Franklin J. Merryhill, wants from him. At the same time, his darker half, Crack Boy, is struggling on foot through a perilous landscape, fighting to reach a city he can't enter and plagued by angels he doesn't want to hear.

Dark Tales of Time and Space is a confusing short novel aimed for young adult readers that addresses personal responsiblity in life and in death. If the novel simply followed Joey Steffano as he struggles with narcissism and denial, it would be an easier (if somewhat clichéd) read. However, soon after entering the train Joey is split in half, and Crack Boy, a fictional rap personage turned living embodiment of all in Joey that is actively evil, has his own bizarre adventures in a timeless and alien world that bears no direct relationship to the spacescape Merryhill's train is traversing. Crack Boy's adventures are more intriguing than Joey's, but his unexplained mutilation and sudden shifts from place to place add more questions than they answer. Moreover, while Joey's story reaches a conclusion, Crack Boy's fate is never satisfactorily resolved.

For some reason, lengthy "newspaper articles" about political and natural disasters have been inserted throughout the novel. The author's introduction notes that he wrote the novel at the same time that these events were happening, but the articles, most of which run a page and a half in length, are nothing but awkward interruptions that add to the novel's page count and do nothing to further its plot. One might expect that the disasters being described in the articles would eventually give Joey deeper insight into his own condition or propel him toward emotional or spiritual growth, but they don't—Joey's character development is entirely independent of the excerpts. In the end one can only wonder why an editor didn't pull out a red pencil and scratch through these useless digressions from the storyline.

The novel's intentions are noble. What better way to entice young adults to think about moral responsibility and the afterlife than through a rap-star protagonist in a novel that doesn't shy away from references to drug addiction and sex? But Dark Tales of Time and Space fails to achieve its goal—the plot is muddled and poorly paced and the characters are one-dimensional and reactive. While some of the novel's images are quite striking—I won't soon forget the vision of Crack Boy firing his Smith & Wesson at a hovering angel—they just can't redeem this novel from its overall incoherence.

Flash Bang Wallop! What a Prick You're*!! (*You Are)

Good day blogswabbers, just a quickie to let you know two very exciting pieces of news, which are in fact the same piece of news with slight variations!! Just as Sean's Jesse Jameson books are the same books with slight variations!!

1. Sean has nominated himself for the world's most prestigious literary jewel in the crown of awards! No, you don't need me to name it for you, just think what is the one that knocks the Nobel, the Booker, the Pulitzer, the Whitbread, the IMPAC and the Booker International (so close, eh Seany!!) into a cocked hat??? That's right, you knew it, it's the ... (hang on it's written down here somewhere) The Lancashire Children's Book of the Year Award 2006!! The way it works is that the publisher nominates the book for the longlist - and Sean did it all right!! For Dark Tales! Once people read it, it won't get the shortlist but then I'd rather have Sean long than short any day ifyouknowwhatImean!!!

2. Sean has nominated himself for the world's second most prestigious literary jewel in the crown of awards! The Twisted Root of Jaarfindor (I mean Baarfindor!!!) has been 'recommended' for the British Fantasy Society Novella of the Year! Any paid-up member of the BFS can recommend a book so we'd like to make it clear that Sean was not the only one to do so - it was also recommended by Charlotte Aaronsen, P.N. Cole, Frankie K Bloch and Max Kinburg! Way to go Seany!!!

By the way Sean, now that we know you're 'just' a PE teacher and not a real teacher at all, let me take this opportunity to offer you an outlet for all that pent up physical energy over those slack summer months! Get your leg up, if you see what I mean?!?!!?!

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Hooked on Sean!!!

Wowzers, guys and girls, what a busy day it is in the world of loving Sean! We've found an exclusive tidbit of information that shows how much Sean cares about his fans!! Which is a lot!! Andrew Hook has posted a message on the British Fantasy Society forum here, telling us that Beyond Each Blue Horizon

is available in hardback only and usually retails at £20.00 but Crowswing are discounting it to £10 to anybody who attends the launch

Wicked or what, eh! Sean must have forgotten to tell everyone on his website that he had had to reduce it to half price to sell it! Perhaps he knew that the British Fantasy Society had given a bit of a bad review to Hooky's Moon Beaver, in this review:

This is the new novel from Elastic Press impresario and British small press mainstay Andrew Hook, a man who puts the "What the f**k was that?" into "non sequitur". As anyone who's encountered Andrew Hook's short fiction knows, his shortcomings as a writer (an occasional clumsiness of prose, the feeling that he likes and identifies with his central characters far more than anyone else possibly could) are normally rendered moot, because by the time it takes to snort derisively at him one is swept under by his constant barrages of ad-hoc wordplay, bizarre imagery, dime-a-dozen punnery and the weird shenanigans that permeate his work.

The plot concerns the titular Ms. Beaver, a "super-real" individual who explodes into the humdrum existence of a workaday dweeb named Benny, forcing him to re-evaluate his relationship with his fiancé Louise, his job with the dour and homogenous Company, his life in Norwich and his concepts of self and personal identity. Moon convinces him to set off on a road-trip to (amongst other places) Bournemouth, Moscow and Bangkok. Weird characters abound in the subplots, such as the US chicken farmer Lou, Benny's ex-girlfriend Louise and a pair of amateur pornographers, all of whom seem desperate to retain their individuality or are at least constantly plagued by their own questioning of it.

Not liking this book is a bit like trying to pin the tail on the donkey after you have snorted your own bodyweight in mescaline: you can see the donkey, you have a burning urge to do it, but it always turns out to be somewhere else by the time it comes to ram the pin home. The overall effect is like a somewhat less-lysergic Robert Rankin, with that literary deviant's affection for Brentford replaced with Hook's own for his home town of Norwich; echoes of Kingsley Amis also abound in the book's construction and Hook's somewhat mannered style. After finishing it one is left with the impression of a sweet summer confection that aspires to deeper things, which (at least for this reviewer) remain sadly out of its grasp.

Whoops eh! That must be why Sean forgot to say what a great success the launch for Beyond Each Blue Horizon was - because it wasn't!! And there we were thinking Seany was just jealous of Hooko's success and didn't want to give him too much of the oxyacetalene of publicity! Once more: we were wrong!!

Sean Wright: An Apology

OK blogfollowers, there comes a time when we all must eat humble pie and admit we were wrong. We thought the only negative reviews of Seany's stuff was coming from pimple-popping geekoids from the Planet Yawn, who were jealous of Sean's (literally) unbelievable success! But look, the British Fantasy Society no less have reviewed Curse of Caldazar, and here's what their man Steve Dean had to say about it:

Jesse Jameson is a fairy. No, I'm not name calling, it's true. This is book three in the series, aimed at children eight years old and up. I must admit to not having read the other two, but on this evidence I have no regrets.

Firstly then, this is not a standalone book, but one of a series. It soon shows, as the characters are minimally described, they refer to things that happened in the other books, and have items and powers from who knows where. There are far too many characters in the book for it's length, 150 pages or so, a two hour read. The descriptions are minimal, even for the locations new to the characters.

Writing for children is no easy thing. Thinking you can just put down anything and the kids won't notice is a mistake. For instance, the first page is repeated again later in the book, with a few words changed and moved around. One of the characters enters an aerial battle and some of the combatants fall to their knees! An egg containing two trapped witches appears in Jesse's bedroom from nowhere, just so she can be put in peril.

And what is it with magic powers? Jesse has the ability to change into a dragon, except when the plot says she can't. A powerful wizard who can create great tables groaning with food out of nothing can't fly over a forest but has to go through it, but still loses Jesse later on, despite the fact that the forest is where he trained as a young wizard. And my particular favourite, Jesse is captured by a witch and is about to be killed, when a giant appears and rescues her. The giant is said to be taller than the trees and each step he takes is like an earthquake! But no one saw or heard him approach?

These are just a few of the logical inconsistencies, there are many more for those who can be bothered to look.

To sum up then, a dull plot is further degraded by flaws in the logic and far too many deus-ex-machina. The writing is clumsy, the characters one-dimensional and pacing none existent. The cover proclaims it as a modern classic. For modern read dumbed down, for classic read unoriginal.

Whilst researching the other books in the series I came across a few references to and comparisons with J.K Rowling's Harry Potter. I laughed out loud. If HP is a meal in a three star restaurant, this book is second rate fast food.

And don't get me started on the cover!

What a load of fucking bollocks eh!

Close Encounters of the Shite Kind!

Guess what blogclickers! We've been having an intimate one-on-one with Big Sean himself, Mr Squid-eyed Slaphead, El Cuntwright Cantwrite Numero, um, One!! In fact I'm so excited I have to go to the bathroom!

[15 minutes later]

Sorry for the delay, blogwallowers, I just couldn't keep my hands to myself when I was in there! I mean, you go into a bathroom thinking of Seany and one thing leads to another, know what I mean!!!!

Anyway, Seany has been up to his endearing old tricks again, this time on! He added his own comment to a real review - I suppose he was just so surprised to see a mildly favourable review from a real person that he didn't know what he was doing! Anyway, because he did that all these stooopid boring people have started posting messages with so-called 'facts' about Sean's books.

Let's get one thing clear. Sean is right, "His books sell very well." OK, not on Amazon - his sales ranks are all well below that book known to us, mentioned below, which has sold 4 copies in 6 months. And not on eBay - of the 98 Wright books which have ended listing since 25 May, 62 failed to sell at all, and of those 36 which did sell, only 6 sold for prices higher than cover price. Oh and you can't get them in the shops because of his 'uniquely brilliant' method of printing limited copies so that collectability overrules readability. In fact nobody selling their copies on eBay (and boy is there a lot of that! People must just really want to get rid of their Sean Wright books as soon as possible so that they can share their beauty with the world) is reading them at all! They all say "unread" or "new"! What's so cool about books that nobody reads?? Anyway, that's why it's all the more important for us to tell the world about Sean Wright, who is now the Greatest Force for Good in the World Today!!!!

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

The Worst Horror of All!

Sad news, blogweasels. In fact this could be the saddest wickedest (in the normal sense!!!) day in the history of the JJBlog! I know everyone has been wondering where Iggywigg has been, because you've all been emailing me to ask! (Even Seany himself, though it got a bit fruity when I told him I was at my laptop without a stitch on!! Down boy!)

Well the sad truth is that Iggywigg has been detained at the Queen's pleasure. Which is a bit of a coincidence, because he said in his last phone call that he had a new nickname in chokey - and that was "Queen's pleasure" too!! He said he is worried that by the time he gets out his arsehole will be like a clown's pocket. Whatever that means?!?!?!??!!

Don't worry though, he hasn't done anything wrong! It's all just a misunderstanding and it will all be sorted out when his lawyer comes back from his disciplinary hearing. You see, what happened was that Iggy was so excited about Seany's new tome Wicked or What!? that he immediately got on the intynet and started googling for TEENAGE-ADULT CROSSOVER. And because he was so happy he clicked "I'm feeling lucky" ... and ended up on a website for something or other called The Man-Boy Love Association! Whatever that is?!!! And anyway, apparently by the time he navigated his way through the site to get out again, entering his credit card details when prompted, the Old Bill were round at his house, broke down his door and had him on the ground with a truncheon up his hole!!

But don't worry fans, Iggy will be right as rain. I'm sure nobody in prison will really think he's a peado. Anyway, those criminals, they only harm their own, right?? So I will keep you all updated, don't you worry, just as soon as Iggy gets his mobile phone back from somewhere he said they shoved it (I couldn't hear as it became quite muffled). I'll never forget his last words to me before he was cut off - he was thinking of Seany to the last! "Iggywigg be a-needing an urgent intervention by the Home Secretary!!!"

The Best a Sean Can Get!!

Wow, blogpeepers, look what we've found: click here for Sean's very own eBay feedback record!! You can see that as well as selling books for charity for those poor little crushed Indonesians -which was not at all to promote his own stuff, we won't hear such slander - he's a collector of valuable modern literature in his own right (Wright!!). For example:

  • Michael Crichton's Jurassic Park
  • Anne McCaffrey, The Dragonriders of Pern
  • Stephen King, On Writing (from one mastur to another eh Sean!!!!!!!!)
  • Stephen King, The Dark Half
  • Rampsey Campbell in a nun's habit, Ancient Images
  • Christopher Fowler, Red Bride
  • Stephen Gallagher, Down River
  • Thomas Harris, Hannibal
  • Nigel Rees, The Graffiti Gift Set (four books of hilarious toilet wall daubings! Inspiration maybe???!!??!?!?)
  • Thomas Richards, Star Trek in Myth and Legend

I think we can all agree that there's not a single piece of worthless shit among that lot! In fact I might go so far (in fact I think I will! Here I go!!) as to say that this is unarguably the definitive list of the Greatest Ten Works of Literature (the Graffiti books count as one) In the History of Western Civilisation!!!!! Sean's taste is above reproach! Three cheers for Sean!!!!

Sexy Stats!!

Wow, this could be the best day ever in the long and intermittent history of this the Jesse Jameson Blog, the Jessejamesonblog! We have found an author of technical manuals who has told us that one of her books has sold precisely four copies through Amazon in the six months since November of last year - and that its most recent Amazon sales rank was 134,000! Now you may remember that Seany's books have all much higher sales ranks than that (see the posts below), which means that they have each sold fewer than four copies in the last six months - maybe one copy in a whole six months, perhaps two copies in that half year, or could be three copies in six months (let's not be unrealistic though) - or, more likely, no copies in six months!

This means that Sean's books are even rarerer and more valuable than we ever thought they were! Keep up that good work Sean, and don't go changing and start selling your books: winners are boring and saaaaad, not wicked or what like cool losers like you!!!

Still, Amazon isn't the only place to buy books. There's eBay too, and we can confirm that at the minute, there are 37 Sean Wright books on sale there, and ONE of them has a bid on it - 99p for the super duper illustrated Baarfindor!! Way to go Seano!!

And hey look - maybe those naysayers were right about Sean's bank manager calling in the overdraft! After hearing about the sale of his Strange Situation single on eBay recently, Sean decided to sell his own copy - though sadly the signed copy he put up got $7 less than the unsigned one. That means Sean's signature is worth minus four pounds!! I wonder how much we owe him then, eh Iggy???